My snarky side


I had to go there.

I had to go there.

I was recently forced to turn to the snarky side in order to effectively register a complaint.  I say forced because I tried the nice approach.  I tried the patient approach.  I tried the slightly more annoyed approach.  When those approaches failed, I got downright testy.  It’s not something I like to do, and I was upset by something that was so unimportant that I almost let it slide. But, in the end, it became one of those “the principle of the matter” issues.  I write about it now because the organization behind my frustration did finally come through and fix the situation.

Here’s what nearly drove me out of my mind.  Twice a week, I would walk out to my car and see what looked like a newspaper on my lawn.  I don’t subscribe to the local paper so when it first happened I thought it was odd.  Upon closer examination, it wasn’t a newspaper.  It was something called the Savvy Shopper, and it consisted of mostly ads for products I not only had no interest in, I was now annoyed they existed because they were in a newspaper-like item that somehow magically showed up on my front lawn twice a week.  The paper, wrapped in protective plastic, went straight from my front lawn to the trashcan on most days.  The other days it lined the cat litter box.

Eventually, I decided this is ridiculous.  I’ll just call the company and have them stop delivery.  That’s when my real hell started.  Here’s my email to the company I sent to 50+ employees that eventually stopped the madness.

I realize that the world is crumbling into fine bits of pain and misery and this may seem small and insignificant,  but I find myself in a horrific chamber of Groundhog Day-like hell where two days a week I repeat the same unnecessary routine of walking out to my front yard, picking up a Charleston Savvy Shopper paper of torture and immediately tossing it in the trash.

Is this some evil experiment by your company to push me to the brink of madness, or is this just some poorly thought out garbage distribution program?  I’ve called the P and C, and I was assured it would stop.  When it was still coming two weeks later, I called again, and was given an email address of someone to contact.  Last week I sent the email hoping I had found the answer.  But alas it was not to be. Today I threw another Savvy Shopper into the trash.

For the love of God, someone help me!  Stop this insane policy of throwing litter on my yard!  I never authorized it, and I would really, really like it to stop!

(Address redacted.  Contact the NSA for all my personal information.)

PS – I’ve sent this to as many employees at P and C that I could find in hopes that there’s one among you that can end my nightmare.  Someone please step up and be my hero.

This is truly a silly thing to get upset about.  I totally get that, but I just wanted it to stop.  I’m sure I got someone in trouble because I received an email in response from the upper management.  I feel bad about that, but I didn’t know what else to do.

2 Comments

  1. Sometimes snarky simply works. No shame in it, and as long as you layer it with a few lines of humor (to show that you’re not deranged and not viciously dangerous), then I think it can also be appreciated.

    I’ve had to resort to snarky a few times when selling camera gear on Craigslist and received ridiculously low-ball offers.

    One time, I was trying ot sell a camera flash (that sells for $400 on ebay), and some guy asked me if I would take $150 for it. I asked him if he would gladly take a punch to the throat.

    He replied in like humour.

    We didn’t make the sale/purchase together, but at least we both (i hope) got a laugh out of it.


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