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	<title>R.W. Ridley</title>
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	<description>Husband, Author, Football Fan</description>
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		<title>R.W. Ridley</title>
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		<title>Night of the Living Dead Part 6</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/notld-part-6/</link>
		<comments>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/notld-part-6/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:45:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun Videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[best zombie movie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy halloween]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the first zombie movie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the original zombie movie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the zombie genre]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zombie movies]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I know Halloween is over.  What you fail to understand is that we are under the constant threat of zombie attack.  These Night of the Living Dead posts could very well save your life.  You&#8217;re welcome!


       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2874&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I know Halloween is over.  What you fail to understand is that we are under the constant threat of zombie attack.  These Night of the Living Dead posts could very well save your life.  You&#8217;re welcome!</p>
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		<title>Taking a break after lifting Stephen King&#8217;s latest book, Under the Dome!</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/under-the-dome-big/</link>
		<comments>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/14/under-the-dome-big/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:27:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Authors & Writing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[big books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[biggest book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book with the most pages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stephen king]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the stand]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[under the dome]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[word count]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[world record word count]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rwridley.wordpress.com/?p=2871</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[While I just got Stephen King&#8217;s newest book, Under the Dome, and I haven&#8217;t had a chance to read it, I am ready to give my early review.  It&#8217;s gigantic!  My arms are sore from lifting it.   I think you should be required to register it as a lethal weapon because if I could muster up the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2871&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div id="attachment_2872" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/under-the-dome.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-2872" title="under the dome" src="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/under-the-dome.jpg?w=300&#038;h=256" alt="under the dome" width="300" height="256" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Skull-boy included for purposes of scale</p></div>
<p>While I just got Stephen King&#8217;s newest book, Under the Dome, and I haven&#8217;t had a chance to read it, I am ready to give my early review.  It&#8217;s gigantic!  My arms are sore from lifting it.   I think you should be required to register it as a lethal weapon because if I could muster up the strength to throw it at someone, it would kill them instantly.  Are you hearing me?  I&#8217;m saying it&#8217;s big.  It has it&#8217;s own gravitational pull.  Ginormous.</p>
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		<title>Freaky Search Friday &#8211; November 13, 2009 Edition</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/fsf-november-13-2009-edition/</link>
		<comments>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/fsf-november-13-2009-edition/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:04:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[freaky searches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crazy people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ecu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[freaky people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holtz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the internet isn't always a good thing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the pirates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weird search terms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what people look for on the internet]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[The freak is in the house, awe-oh!  The freak is in the house, awe-oh!  Sorry, got carried away.  Here they are, a little later in the evening than usual, but I made it. These are the freaky and funny search terms people used to find my blog.  How these queries brought them to my blog, [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2868&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 219px"><img class=" " title="Skip" src="http://img.fannation.com/upload/si_blog_post_images/skip-holtz.jpg" alt="" width="209" height="245" /><p class="wp-caption-text">&quot;I was nude once. It was 1984 and my pants caught on fire...&quot;</p></div>
<p>The freak is in the house, awe-oh!  The freak is in the house, awe-oh!  Sorry, got carried away.  Here they are, a little later in the evening than usual, but I made it. These are the freaky and funny search terms people used to find my blog.  How these queries brought them to my blog, I don’t know, but one should never question the power of the freaky search term.  Enjoy and keep the freak flag flying, people.  I need you.    </p>
<p>10. <strong>how tall jeff Goldblum </strong>– He big tall.</p>
<p>9. <strong>Jay Cutler suck 5</strong> – Five?  He sucks 17.  As in, he’s thrown 17 interceptions in 9 games.  How many interceptions has Kyle Orton thrown? </p>
<p>8. <strong>&#8220;jay cutler&#8221; sucks</strong> – Only if you expect him to win.  Otherwise, he’s the greatest quarterback who ever lived in his own mind. </p>
<p>7. <strong>real live ghost caught on tape</strong> – Note to beginning ghost hunters, you’ll never find a real “live” ghost.  Try looking for the dead ones.</p>
<p>6. <strong>day of the dead tattoos</strong> – Now this is a tattoo I would consider getting… but not on my face.</p>
<p>5. <strong>star tattoos for girls</strong> – Could a star tattoo really be gender specific?  What makes one star tattoo more girly than another?</p>
<p>4. <strong>worst face tattoo</strong> – The worst face tattoo is called a face tattoo.</p>
<p>3. <strong>nasty puppies</strong> – Cute, loveable puppies are so last year</p>
<p> 2. <strong>dog with toupee</strong> – Dogs with toupees came up a couple of times last week.  I guess Hair Club for Dogs finally opened for business</p>
<p style="text-align:center;">And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:</p>
<p>1. <strong>skip holtz, nude</strong> – Oh… ah… no…  You can’t really want to see… I mean I don’t even think Skip Holtz wants to see Skip Holtz nude…. Wait, I’m feeling a little dizzy…. Let me get some fresh air…. Oops… I think I… Yep, I stabbed a pencil in my eye to try and rid myself of the horrible image of Skip Holtz nude.  Thank you for that, interwebs.</p>
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		<title>How I reacted to hearing that 3 Tennessee football players were arrested for armed robbery</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/angry-cat-tn/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:54:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun Videos]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[
Idiots!

       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2861&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<p>Idiots!</p>
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		<title>I spotted Bigfoot while I was in the great state of Washington.</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/i-spotted-bigfoot-wa/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:00:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Misc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bigfoot in California]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bigfoot in Washington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bigfoot restaurant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Patty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[roger patterson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sasquatch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seattle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[washington]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yeti]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rwridley.wordpress.com/?p=2851</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I just got back from a quick trip to Seattle.  I think it&#8217;s a beautiful city, but I don&#8217;t know for sure because I mostly saw the inside of buildings.  When I was outside, it was rainy, gloomy, and cold.  I understand that is rare for Seattle.  I did see Bigfoot while there.  I&#8217;m taking [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2851&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div id="attachment_2852" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bigfoot.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-2852" title="bigfoot" src="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bigfoot.jpg?w=300&#038;h=221" alt="bigfoot" width="300" height="221" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Bigfoot Food and Spirits in the Seattle airport, I understand the big guy hosts on Tuesday nights. </p></div>
<p>I just got back from a quick trip to Seattle.  I think it&#8217;s a beautiful city, but I don&#8217;t know for sure because I mostly saw the inside of buildings.  When I was outside, it was rainy, gloomy, and cold.  I understand that is rare for Seattle.  I did see Bigfoot while there.  I&#8217;m taking it as a sign that he approves of my new book, <a href="http://rwridley.wordpress.com/lost-days-free-laptop/" target="_blank">Lost Days</a>.  He is a big part of the story.  I like to think that by revealing himself to me he was saying, &#8220;I like what you do, R.W.  I like what you do.&#8221;  And to him I say, &#8220;Thanks, big guy.&#8221; </p>
<p>Hey, here&#8217;s a fun fact.  Turns out Bigfoot isn&#8217;t that hard to find because he&#8217;s got an eatery in the Seattle airport.  That&#8217;s right Bigfoot is a restaurateur.</p>
<p>Now, I realize I&#8217;m being a total Bigfoot nerd when I register the following complaint.  The second image is a  loosely styled rendition of a single frame taken from the famous Roger Patterson film in 1967. </p>
<div id="attachment_2853" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 250px"><a href="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bigfoot2.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-2853 " title="bigfoot2" src="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/bigfoot2.jpg?w=240&#038;h=180" alt="bigfoot2" width="240" height="180" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Do you know what this figure is missing?</p></div>
<p>The problem I have with it is that film was actually shot in Bluff Creek, California.  It&#8217;s iconic Bigfoot, but it&#8217;s not really a state of Washington staple.  As far as I can tell, the restaurant chain is exclusive to the Seattle area.  I know!  I know!  It doesn&#8217;t really matter, and I actually think the idea of a Bigfoot chain of restaurants is really cool.  I wish the company loads of success.  I just wanted you to see how twistedly devoted I am to the Bigfoot phenomenon.  Yes, I&#8217;m weird. </p>
<p class="mceTemp">BTW &#8211; the pictures were taken with my Blackberry.  I haven&#8217;t figured out how to take a clear picture with it yet.  I always get a slight blur. Then again, that it is so typical of Bigfoot!</p>
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		<title>New Bigfoot Video?</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/new-bigfoot-video-2/</link>
		<comments>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/new-bigfoot-video-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:31:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fun Videos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bigfoot in appalachians]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bigfoot on news]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bigfoot video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mabrc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sasquatch video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tom Biscardi]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ll post it without comment&#8230; I can&#8217;t help myself.  Are you kidding me?  Did we learn nothing from the Bigfoot body in Georgia?  I&#8217;m at a loss.

&#160;

       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2849&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>I&#8217;ll post it without comment&#8230; I can&#8217;t help myself.  Are you kidding me?  Did we learn nothing from the Bigfoot body in Georgia?  I&#8217;m at a loss.</p>
<p><span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/new-bigfoot-video-2/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/pqkyzzcoRYs/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Dead Tired -Skull-boy Byline</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/dead-tired-skull-boy-byline/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:57:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Misc]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[get your blog]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[This just in, R.W. Ridley is dead tired from unavoidable travel. He&#8217;s strongly considering taking over the universe and outlawing time-zones.  Five o&#8217;clock is five o&#8217;clock.  Until he returns, the blog is mine.  In my infinite wisdom, I have decided to turn it over to you because&#8230; well, I am just an empty skull after [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2846&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<p>This just in, R.W. Ridley is dead tired from unavoidable travel. He&#8217;s strongly considering taking over the universe and outlawing time-zones.  Five o&#8217;clock is five o&#8217;clock.  Until he returns, the blog is mine.  In my infinite wisdom, I have decided to turn it over to you because&#8230; well, I am just an empty skull after all.  The blog is yours.  Do with it what you will.  R.W. will be back in full swing on Thursday.</p>
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		<title>Lost Days – Post 37 (Win a free laptop!)</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/ld-win-a-free-laptop/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:36:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Lost Days Book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[author giving away a laptop]]></category>
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Read a book! Win a laptop computer!

This is the 37th installment of my new book (launch is in about a week) Lost Days.  I hope you’ve been reading carefully because the answer to the qualifying question is in one of the previous posts. Qualifying question for what?  For your chance to win a free laptop [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2842&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
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<div class="mceTemp">
<dl class="wp-caption alignleft">
<dt class="wp-caption-dt"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lost-Days/184298540080?ref=ts#/pages/Lost-Days/184298540080?v=wall&amp;ref=ts"><em><img class="size-medium wp-image-2786" title="lost-days-4b-web" src="http://rwridley.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/lost-days-4b-web.jpg?w=194&#038;h=300" alt="lost-days-4b-web" width="194" height="300" /></em></a></dt>
<dd class="wp-caption-dd"><em>Read a book! Win a laptop computer!</em></dd>
</dl>
<p><em>This is the 37<sup>th</sup> installment of my new book (launch is in about a week) Lost Days.  I hope you’ve been reading carefully because the answer to the qualifying question is in one of the previous posts. Qualifying question for what?  For your chance to win a free laptop computer.   <a href="http://rwridley.wordpress.com/lost-days-free-laptop/" target="_blank">Click here to read the rules for the drawing</a>.  Basically, you  read Lost Days for a chance to win a laptop!  If you don’t want to read the free online version, it will be available for sale on Amazon next week!.  Good luck.</em></p>
<p>After I caught up on my homework, I went out on the front porch to get some fresh air.  The sun was long gone, and there was a chill in the air.  I wasn’t exactly dressed for it, but I didn’t care.  I folded my arms and sat on the steps.  </p>
<p>J-Rob’s truck pulled up in front of the house.  The gigantic man extracted himself from the cab, and started walking to the back of the house.  When he saw me, he stopped to talk.</p>
<p>“You’ll catch your death dressed like that on a night like this,” he said.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” I said. </p>
<p>“You should at least have a sweatshirt on.”</p>
<p>I shrugged.</p>
<p>“Crew gave me a good talking to, by the way.”</p>
<p>“What for?” I asked.</p>
<p>“For telling you about the accident.  He wasn’t pleased.  You ain’t much on keeping secrets are you?”</p>
<p>I chuckled.  “I guess not.  Doesn’t matter anyway.”</p>
<p>“Why because he told you it wasn’t true?” J-Rob said kicking the ground in front of him.</p>
<p>I looked surprised.  “You know it’s not true?”</p>
<p>It was his turn to chuckle.  “I know he tells people it’s not true.”</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes.  “Yeah, right, I get it.”</p>
<p>“You get what?” he asked.</p>
<p>I shivered as a gust of wind blew through me.  “Nothing,” I said.  “Uncle Crew was raised by Bigfoot.”</p>
<p>He took his jacket off and threw it over my shoulders.  “Not quite, but close.”</p>
<p>His coat smelled like cigarettes and coffee, but it was just what I needed.  I grabbed the lapels and pulled it in tighter. </p>
<p>“You think like everybody else?” J-Rob asked.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Do you dress like everyone else, think like everyone else, laugh at all the same jokes?”</p>
<p>“No,” I said.  “What’s your point?”</p>
<p>“My point is me and Crew is just like you.  We don’t think like everyone else.  The difference is they threw us in a hospital because we thought differently.  You ever been to one of them&#8230; hospitals?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“Ain’t no fun,” he said.  “When you first get there you try to convince everyone you don’t belong there by converting them to your way of thinking.  You know what you believe is 100% ironclad truth.  But after awhile, you just want to fit in, so a little at a time you pretend to come around to their way of thinking just so they’ll stop looking at you that certain way and whispering behind your back.”</p>
<p>“So, Uncle Crew&#8230;” I started, but J-Rob interrupted me.</p>
<p>“Is just trying to be like everyone else even if he has to pretend.”  He started to walk away.</p>
<p>“Wait, don’t you want your coat?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Keep it,” he said.  “I got another one.” </p>
<p>He was gone before I could insist.  I thought about following him, but it was too cold.  I slipped my arms through the sleeves and welcomed the warmth the coat brought, even if it stunk to high heaven.  Obviously, J-Rob was not familiar with dry cleaners or laundromats.  Mixed in with the cigarette and coffee was the faint smell of body odor.  I stuck my hands in my pocket and felt something that I thought was a lighter.  I pulled it out and was astounded to see a jump drive.  J-Rob didn’t seem like the type that could find the power button on a computer let alone own a jump drive.  A voice in my head told me the right thing to do was find him and return the drive, but a louder voice in my head was screaming at me to look at what was on the drive.  The screaming voice always wins out in my mind.  I pulled myself up and ran up to my room.</p>
<p>Grover was nowhere to be seen so I shut the door and hurriedly turned on my laptop.  I stood in front of the computer trying to will it to boot up faster than normal, but instead it seemed to be taking far longer than usual.  The login window appeared, and I was so nervous and excited I typed it in wrong twice.  I sensed myself getting more and more frustrated so I stopped and collected my thoughts.  Slowly and taking great care to hit the correct keys, I typed in the password and opened the Windows desktop.   I stuck the jump drive into the USB port and waited for the system to recognize the new drive.  Everything was taking twice as long as it usually did.  As soon as the system read the drive and allowed me access to it, I opened it to discover one folder with the name “LGC Field Study.”  I opened the folder and found 14 images.  Before I could look at them the doorknob turned.  I slammed the laptop shut, and groaned louder than I intended when Grover walked in.</p>
<p>“It’s my room, too, you know,” he said insulted that I took exception to his presence.</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have to share a room with you.  I’m in high school.”</p>
<p>“Writing love letters to your boyfriend?” Grover asked.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said looking down at the laptop.  That was the first time I heard myself admit that out loud.  A lot had changed in a day.  I went from thinking the greatest guy in school had a thing for me to thinking the greatest guy in school wasn’t that great, and may have had ulterior motives for wanting to get to know me.</p>
<p>“Looking at more of your pictures?” Grover asked.</p>
<p>The question caught me off guard.  I fumbled for a reasonable answer and finally just said, “Stop asking me dumb questions.”</p>
<p>He looked at me mischievously.  “Let me see what you’re hiding.”</p>
<p>“No, dip wad.”  I moved the laptop behind my back.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell mom.”</p>
<p>“And I’ll tell mom you have one her magazines.”</p>
<p>“Go ahead,” he smiled. “I put it back.”</p>
<p>“So, I’ll tell her you had it.  She’ll believe me.”</p>
<p>“And I’ll tell her you’re doing something on your computer you shouldn’t be doing.”</p>
<p>I grunted.  “I’m not playing, Grover!  This is serious stuff.”</p>
<p>“I’m not playing either,” he said.  “Show me.”</p>
<p>I balled my hands up into fists and thought about leaping out of the bed and socking him in the eye, but instead, I just cleared my throat and said, “Fine, but I swear to god, you are dead if you tell anyone.”</p>
<p>“Cool,” he said jumping on the bed.</p>
<p>I lifted the lid to the laptop and awoke it from its sleep.  The file was still open.  I clicked on the first picture and Grover said it best.</p>
<p>“Holy&#8230; whoa!”</p>
<p>We stared at the picture for a long time without saying a word after that.  I was trying to process it.  Uncle Crew was squatting down next to a&#8230; something huge.  It was covered in hair or fur or whatever you call it&#8230; it was&#8230;</p>
<p>“Bigfoot!” Grover yelled.</p>
<p>I quickly clamped my hand over his mouth.  “Shhh! It’s not Bigfoot,” I whispered.  “It’s a fake.”</p>
<p>He looked up at me and shook his head.  “No way that’s a fake,” he said with my hand over his mouth.</p>
<p>I removed my hand.  “It has to be.”</p>
<p>“Open another one,” he said excitedly.</p>
<p>I did as requested and we both gasped.  There were two apes or guys in gorilla costumes or whatever they were wearing.  These two were standing next to J-Rob.  I laughed nervously.  They were two feet taller than him.  They were really big guys in really big costumes.  I could feel sweat forming on my brow.  They had to be fakes.  They just had to be.</p>
<p>“Two Bigfoots,” Grover said.</p>
<p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said with a fake chuckle. </p>
<p>“Another one,” he said pointing to the mouse pad.  “Open another one.”</p>
<p>I huffed.  I didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to have to see more of those things.  I was mad at them for looking so&#8230; real.  But if I didn’t click on the next picture, Grover would have had a hissy fit.  I opened it.  An ape with breasts squatted next to the ape laying on the ground.  Uncle Crew was off to the side.  The female was holding a large Tupperware container and appeared to be scooping some kind of mushy food out.  She was twice as wide as Uncle Crew.</p>
<p>“Boobs,” Grover shouted.</p>
<p>“Shut up,” I growled.</p>
<p>“These are real,” Grover said.  His teeth were almost chattering he was so excited.  “Bigfoot is real.”</p>
<p>I didn’t deny it this time.  I clicked through the pictures, and saw more of the same.  It became clear to me that the ape laying on the ground was injured or ill, and Uncle Crew was tending to it.  The other apes looked on with concern and curiosity.  The faces of the creatures started to get to me the more I studied them.  They were ape-like in their features, but they were human, too.  The faces were leathery, and the brow ridges were prominent.  But the noses were more human than I was comfortable with. </p>
<p>I clicked on the last picture and saw a female holding a baby.  It was beyond cute, but I was still utterly disturbed by the whole thing.  I tried to convince myself once again that they weren’t real.</p>
<p>“Wait ‘til I tell Tommy Dixon,” Grover said.</p>
<p>I jerked him up by his collar.  “You can’t tell anybody about this, you understand?”</p>
<p>He looked at me scared out of his mind.  “Let go of me.”</p>
<p>“Promise me you won’t tell a soul about this.”  I could feel the veins popping out on my neck.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, I promise,” he said.</p>
<p>I let him go.  “We don’t even know if it’s real,” I said more for myself than him.</p>
<p>“You’re crazy,” Grover said.  “Nobody could fake that.”      </p>
<p>“They can fake all sorts of things.  Ever heard of Photoshop?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Grover said.  “Learned it at computer camp last summer.  Never saw nothing like that, that’s for sure.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t prove it’s real,” I said.  I pulled the jump drive out of the USB port and held it up.  “What do you want to bet that old J-Rob is pretty good when it comes to Photoshop?”</p>
</div>
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		<title>Night of the Living Dead &#8211; Part 5</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/07/notld-part-5/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:32:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[the zombie genre]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rwridley.wordpress.com/?p=2837</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Just because halloween is over doesn&#8217;t mean the scare stops.  Here&#8217;s part 5 of the zombie flick that started it all, Night of the Living Dead!


       <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2837&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><p>Just because halloween is over doesn&#8217;t mean the scare stops.  Here&#8217;s part 5 of the zombie flick that started it all, Night of the Living Dead!</p>
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		<title>Freaky Search Friday &#8211; November 6, 2009 Edition</title>
		<link>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/fsf-november-6-2009-edition/</link>
		<comments>http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/fsf-november-6-2009-edition/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:23:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>R.W. Ridley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[freaky searches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[author photos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[big chins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exercise programs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fairies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gigantic men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[naked ghost hunters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[small chins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tall men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tattoos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tony horton]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rwridley.wordpress.com/?p=2833</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Had a wedding today, so my schedule is totally whacked.  I almost missed Freaky Search Friday.  Here they are in all their spectacular glory, the search terms loveable freaks used to find my blog.  Remember, I don’t correct spelling or grammar.  They are how they is.  Enjoy!  BTW &#8211; I gave the shirtless celebrities a [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=rwridley.wordpress.com&blog=3387299&post=2833&subd=rwridley&ref=&feed=1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class='snap_preview'><br /><div class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 199px"><img class="  " title="tall" src="http://www.mentalfloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/tall.jpg" alt="" width="189" height="293" /><p class="wp-caption-text">A picture of Jeff Goldblum in September of 2009, his tall period</p></div>
<p>Had a wedding today, so my schedule is totally whacked.  I almost missed Freaky Search Friday.  Here they are in all their spectacular glory, the search terms loveable freaks used to find my blog.  Remember, I don’t correct spelling or grammar.  They are how they is.  Enjoy!  BTW &#8211; I gave the shirtless celebrities a break.  There were a bunch of them, but it&#8217;s no fun including them week after week. </p>
<p>10. <strong>how to be a successful husband</strong> – I can help you.  <a href="http://rwridley.wordpress.com/2009/05/04/how-to-be-a-successful-husband/" target="_blank">Click here</a>.  A lot of women thought I was being totally condescending and disrespectful.  I wasn’t at all.  I seriously mean to say that I am an idiot who deservedly gets myself in trouble every time I open my mouth or tries to do something on my own.  An example:  My wife can’t have cheese or dairy of any kind.  I bought a “natural” packaged pasta dish thinking she would like it because it was natural.  Never mind that the word cheese was in the actual name of the dish.  We’ve been married for almost 13 years.  I am not that bright.  Remember, be wrong a lot.   </p>
<p>9. <strong>chinny photos </strong>– I thought I made up a word this week when I called my author photo chinny.  Apparently, chinny is an actual condition.</p>
<p>8. <strong>too many facial tattoos</strong> – One is too many.</p>
<p>7. <strong>did faries exested</strong> – I’m about to blow your mind.  Nothing ever exested.  Think about it. </p>
<p>6. <strong>p90x manboobs</strong> – What women should know about men.  We don’t mind being fat.  We just don’t like the man boobs phenomenon that comes with the extra pounds.  Beachbody.com (the makers of P90X) should do a 90 day program on how to get rid of unsightly man breasts.  It would be a huge seller. </p>
<p>5. <strong>free naked pics of zak bagans</strong> – I’m thinking Zak should be insulted by this search.  Is it not worth at least a couple of dollars to see him naked?  How’s he supposed to be able to afford those tiny shirts he wears if he’s not making some extra scratch from naked pics?  Ghost hunting doesn’t pay that much, people.  Have a heart.</p>
<p>4. <strong>tall jeff goldblum, sept, 2009</strong> – As opposed to short Jeff Goldblum.  Was he taller in September 2009 than any other time in his life? </p>
<p>3. <strong>I want to see Ryan Buell nude</strong> – I’m endlessly fascinated by the specificity of some people’s searches.  They’re not just searching for a nude image of Ryan Buell.  They want the search engine to know that they specifically want to see Ryan Buell nude.  As if to say, “Work harder, search engine, because I want to see Ryan Buell nude.  I and I alone!”</p>
<p>2. <strong>girl face</strong> – Talk about someone who doesn’t have a type.  They’re just looking for a girl with a face.  Can you say, easy to please?</p>
<p>And the number 1 freakiest search term used to find my blog is:</p>
<p>1. <strong>gigantically man</strong> – See Jeff Goldblum in September of 2009.</p>
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